† asgard app

[sestra]

spoilers for the entire first season of orphan black!

OOC Information;
Name; Tomato
Personal Journal; antiquity @ dw
Contact; il.pomodoro at yahoo dot com, aim: TheTomatoSays
Other Characters; n/a
Activity proof; n/a


IC Information;
Character Name; Helena
Canon; Orphan Black (Helena, Orphan Black.)
Canon Point; season one, episode 10; after Sarah shoots her
Age; approx. 28

House; Hel – Helena’s life, especially over the last few years, has been absolutely steeped in violence and death. She herself is a killer with several assassinations and victims behind her, and she’s not above using violence as a means to achieve what she thinks is necessary. Violence is pretty much her default, the way she reacts on instinct.
Power; shadow control

Personality;

The way Helena was raised had an absolute impact on who she is as an adult. Having been left to a convent in Ukraine as an infant, she grew up religious, and it continued to be part of her decisions and motivations for her entire life. Initially, when discovering the existence of clones across the world, she sees herself as the original of the clones and the rest as sins against nature; it was absolutely brainwashing on part of people who wanted to eliminate the clones, people who took her in and trained her as their own personal assassin – but she believes in it so wholeheartedly that in killing the rest of them she was doing good, that she was doing the work of God. She follows the mantra, “I am the original, I am the light,” and it is obedience to her faith that pushes her into a becoming a killer. She suffered tremendous abuse as a child, and she continues to suffer at the hands of Tomas, the man who starts her off on this quest of murder, and he too has his religious reasons in calling for the clones’ deaths. It’s only after meeting Sarah for the first time and sensing a connection with her that she hadn’t had with the other clones that Helena starts to question, a little bit, what she’s been doing.

She develops an almost obsession with Sarah, determined to figure out their connection (eventually discovering that she is Sarah’s twin, the only clones thus far to be related this way) , and even allowing herself to trust the other woman. She wants to create a family with her twin sister; she yearns for that sort of love, as it’s never been something she’s had. But she’s also never had the opportunity to express love properly, and she doesn’t know how. She is possessive and protective in how she tries to love, potentially to a dangerous and violent extent – violence is what she knows. Her childhood was oppressive and isolated, and she clings to the ideal Sarah represents, that of love and family. She had no parents, no siblings, only religious authority who dictated her life, and still do, to the present day. Sarah is hope to Helena, a chance at a new life, and she doesn’t want to be abandoned now that she’s talked herself into this chance.

Helena is a dichotomy. She’s very childlike and curious, and the way she approaches the world is often with wonderment. It’s almost animalistic, her innocence, and she has a tendency to use her hands to touch things, to get a feel for them. When it comes to food, she eats with little sense of etiquette and isn’t afraid to experiment (such as going on a whim and pouring salt on some jell-o – she was very disappointed in the results). She has no concept on how the world actually works, because she was kept out of it. Social boundaries don’t really exist. Breaking and entering is no big deal. She touches and takes, invades personal space without even realizing how close she’s gotten, and often without realizing how uncomfortable it makes the other person – unless, of course, Helena is aiming for uncomfortable.

But she’s also a killer. The number of clones she’s murdered is at least four (though highly likely more), and she would have continued had she not been distracted by her relationship with Sarah and trying to figure out what that meant to her. As much as she wanted to meet with Sarah for lunch one afternoon, as seemingly civil as it started (Helena even says, “I dreamed we were friends,” something she clearly wants) Sarah ends up with Helena’s foot between her legs as a threat. There’s a switch in Helena that can easily turn her from calm but creepy into flat out dangerous and unhinged. She has no real sense that her actions are wrong, because she was raised to believe the ends justifies the means and that she is good. She exudes hostility, even if she’s just standing around eating a muffin. Because that’s the problem with Helena – she’s a loose cannon. She’s unpredictable. She discovers and meets her and Sarah’s birth mother Amelia, only to kill her with a sudden rage over the idea that the woman separated her from her twin and abandoned her to the convent, where she suffered and endured more hardships than the storyline openly admits to. Amelia stole that chance and that life from her, and she deserved to be punished for it. She can and does get wrapped up in the moment, in a singular idea as it occurs to her. This directly plays into her actions and reactions to the situation at hand, because even if she’s a step outside normalcy, she runs with her emotions.

Helena is not stupid, though. She manages to manipulate an entire police force into going off on a wild goose chase on a hunt for a killer (herself), all the while trying to lure Sarah in to speak with her alone (in which creating the meeting she is successful). Sarah, kidnapped and potentially about to be shipped off for experimentation, calls Helena for help. Instead of immediately coming to her rescue, Helena refuses to help until Sarah reveals the names of the other clones; they bargain for Sarah’s name alone, but it’s enough to satisfy Helena for now, because she’s still trying to figure out her own connection to Sarah. But it’s a piece of information she wants, so she doesn’t budge on her stance until the bargain is struck. She can be obstinate and stubborn that way. Helena’s also fairly clever, at least clever enough to use her face as a clone to her advantage when she can; she’s not the best imposter at all – probably the worst of the clones – but she’s not afraid to try. She knows how to fly under the radar and does just that when it’s necessary, prone to skulking in the shadows and keeping to herself unless she makes the conscious decision to step out. She knows she can use her own body language to be threatening, and though she tries to turn it down when necessary, it doesn’t always work. There’s something inherent in the way Helena moves that sets people on edge.

She is, however, surprisingly gentle with children; when she kidnaps Kira, she is kind and patient, and there’s genuine affection there. It’s not just an act to make the kidnapping go more smoothly, evidenced when she ends up letting Kira go rather than obeying Tomas’s orders to kidnap Sarah’s daughter. Part of this is probably because of the way Kira treats Helena – that is to say, like an actual person, recognizing she’s been hurt and damaged, and not belittling her for it. It’s compassion Helena is unused to, something she’s never felt deserving of, and it shifts Helena into feeling protective over the little girl. Tomas’s treatment of her has driven her to self-harm, and Kira’s kindness triggers a backlash against him. We see her struggling with her place in the world, just like the rest of the clones, only Helena’s is centered around what she has been taught her whole life and what she wants more than anything else – a family. Sarah is the focal point, a source of frustration and longing, and though she even says “I love you,” to her twin when Sarah comes to rescue her from Tomas, that love doesn’t stop Helena from beating the shit out of her later either, the situation having deemed it necessary.

Pain and violence is virtually all Helena knows, and she uses that in her approach to the world, even as she tries to make a better place for herself in it.

Samples;
Network Sample;

[The feed turns on to audio, and there’s a few moments of silence, broken only by soft, barely noticeable breathing. When the voice finally speaks up, there’s a clear Slavic accent (Ukrainian, for those who can pick up on it), the woman’s tone low and almost scathing.]

I do not believe in your gods. I will not be a blasphemous tool.

[Helena won’t be anyone’s tool. Not anymore.]

[She makes a disgruntled noise, followed by the sound of what could be her scratching at the bracelet. She doesn’t have a lot of words right now, not when she’s trying to lay low. Grapple with her existence, and whatever the hell this place actually is. It’s thrown her for another loop.]

I must find a church. A real one. [Implying again the “gods” are worthless. Unreal. Even though her face is unseen, her voice practically vibrates with frustration and hostility, despite how quietly she’s speaking.]

[She mutters something unintelligible, but the word ‘God’ can probably be noted and it sort of sounds like it might be a prayer, but then she hangs up without another word.]

Log Sample;
previous log sample!